Mama

I'm changing the tone and purpose of this blog.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still going to write the movie ...but right here right now my heart is not in it.
On Oct 11, 2010 my mom got sick for the first time in like 20 years.
Three weeks later we found out it was lymphoma.
January 1, 2011 my mom was gone.
Passed away quietly in her sleep.
My heart is broken into so many pieces I don't know if it will ever be whole again.
I'm trying to pull myself together for the sake of my child and some days are better than others.
Today I just sat and looked at her calendar. Looked at her handwriting and the grief and loss just overflowed till I was crying.
I go to the courthouse tomorrow to get sworn in as the executor. I'm praying that all goes well but I'm worried. I don't know what to expect and that throws me off my game.
My baby girl has a rash, I hope it's just cause she had a slight fever this weekend.
I'm worried about money as I have not been able to work cause of taking care of mama.
I'm worried abut the future.